Husband: Who left the flag up on the mailbox?
3 yr old: I did!
Husband: You can't do that buddy. That means something.
3 yr old: Yeah. It means I can reach it!
I ask the daughter to bring all of the stuff from around the yard, onto the patio so we can get rid of the garbage and go through the outdoor toys before Winter... what is the first thing she brings? ROCKS. Big fat rocks from all over the yard. When asked what she is doing she says: "But... you said *everything*."
Dear moonbrained teenage son,
For future reference, axes, hatchets, and hedge trimmers are not lawn ornaments. Weed whackers do not belong on the front porch, and extension cords are not part of our curb appeal. You bike does not get flipped over and left in center the walkway, nor do you get to get angry at your three year old brother for picking up/touching said bike, hatchet, or ax.
Also, wearing socks and flipflops through wet grass is dumb. As is complaining about it afterwards.
Love (your very irritated) Mom (who is now leaving and getting a cup of coffee.)
(God, please help us both live through this year. Amen.)