Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Reflections about a boy...

Sarah over at The Forest Room is having some really amazing reflections posted on her blog right now. Well written and good ideas to try if there are ever issues in homeschooling where you hit school being a chore instead of a joy.

I have loved reading them today. I have gone through similar situations oh so many times. I think with my oldest especially that I have to recheck how I am teaching/parenting him at least once a year. He is the hardest for me. Partially because his personality, but mostly because he is the oldest!

I was sitting, talking with him a few weeks ago because of a disagreement that ended with him having his computer time taken away and him yelling "CYAN NEVER GETS IN TROUBLE AS MUCH AS ME!!" Sigh. So after I calmed down and stopped seeing red, I went into his room and explained this (remember, he is 13):

"You and I have personality issues... but the truth is, even if we didn't, you would still get in trouble more, bud. You are my tester kid. I test tools for my parenting tool box out on you. The ones that work well, go back into the box. The ones that don't work at all, get thrown away. So when I run up to something similar with Cyan, she only gets the tools I have in my parenting tool box that have already worked... some of those don't work, but more often they do. So yes. You're right. She doesn't get in trouble as much as you. She just doesn't, and the trouble she gets in is over much faster because I have tools that have worked before for whatever situation she throws at me. BUT... thank you so much for helping me find the tools that I need to put in that box. Thank you for being my tester kid. You being my kid makes me a better parent."

Right now, I sit here, and he hasn't been here for a month. 5 more days and he comes home... and I miss him like crazy. What is funny, is that before he was home with me for school, I didn't miss him like this. I missed seeing him and I loved him. But I didn't miss him like I am missing him right now.

I missed him the other day when I couldn't find the dust pan and found it out under a tree where he was picking up pine cones. (With a dust pan. I know.) I miss him when I make food like this morning's "french toast taste test" and he isn't here to give me his beautiful and eloquent (and long winded) decision about which is better... butter or oil to cook in? I am just missing him being here. Doing Alex things. I am excited that we only have till Sunday. I can't wait to see him and have him be with us again.


sarah in the woods said...

Thanks, Val! Hope the days until Sunday go by quickly for you.

Michelle said...

This brought tears to my eyes - I have one of those 13 year old boys. This past year has been a real testing time for me. Thanks for sharing this!